Tuesday, July 27, 2010

saying yes

A long time ago--a parenting tip caught my attention.  It was "say yes as much as possible".  It's so easy for me to say no--and have the "yes" be the exception.  No is often less trouble.  No often takes less energy.  I don't have to think hard with No.  I can easily overuse No.  But, I want my NOs to count for something.  I want them to be taken seriously.  I want them to be NO, not, "I don't feel like thinking about it right now", or "that would take extra effort that I don't feel like exerting".  Now, I know, KNOW, that there are times as parents that we absolutely must use no for those reasons.  We are in charge, and we have to look out for our own needs too.

But what about saying yes?  Why not yes?

Well, yesterday, Pickle called my cell while I was at work.  I was in a meeting.  Mondays are one meeting after another--I'm a chain-meeter on Mondays.   During my last meeting of the day a coworker walked in with my phone and said it had been ringing off the hook with my home number...I looked at it, and in the past half hour Pickle had called 13 times!  And I have a song for her ringtone...my poor coworkers!  I quickly texted her to see if everything was OK.  She called again.  I excused myself and answered, wondering what the emergency was.  She said,

"Can my friend sleep over tonight?"  

Seriously??  That was the emergency???

Pickle wanted this sleepover with a friend who she hadn't seen all summer.  It turns out they figured out that due to upcoming vacation plans and sports this gal was not going to be available any other night before school started.  Just last night.

I admit I was a little ticked at the unwarranted urgency of her calls, told her I'd talk to her when I got home and returned to my meeting.

On the way home I thought of so many reasons to say no.  No, I was tired.  No, I had to return to work early in the morning.  No, we don't plan sleepovers the same day--I need some advance warning.  No, calling umpteen times was a bit obnoxious.  No.  No. No.

And then it echoed in my head.  Why not yes?  (stink)

So I said yes.  It didn't end up being much trouble at all, and I made my girl very happy.  And that is what I'm unwrapping today with Emily at Chatting at the Sky--the gift of yes.

tuesdays unwrapped at cats


Karen said...

Dawn, good for you. Your daughter will remember that. You went the extra mile. Blessings**

amandatdodson said...

well said - thanks for sharing!

Mrs. Sojourner said...

What a great reminder. Thanks; I needed that!

Dayle said...

Love this. Many years ago, I heard Chuck Swindoll say one time (or read it in one of his books... can't remember which), but he said parents should say yes as often as possible, and I attempted to follow that bit of advice when my daughter was young. I wasn't always thrilled with the dining room being turned into a campsite (sheets over the table to create that tent effect), but it made for great memories. Pickle is a lucky girl.

nic said...

what a wise and wonderful mama you are. i too am aiming to say yes in spite of myself...thanks for the reminder.

Young Mom said...

Thanks for the reminder. It is so easy to say the knee-jerk no. I didn't get alot of yes in my life growing up, I'm learning how to do it for the first time, and I've found I usually love watching my children's joy, and I have the added benefit of not having to backtrack and give in later.

Dawn said...

Good reminder! I said "Yes" to an impromtu sleepover recently, too - and then even said "yes" to a second night when the first one went so well!

Makes everyone feel good, doesn't it?!

Studio JRU said...

That is great! I am sure that YES meant so much to your daughter! :)


Dawn said...

i love when i can say yes... and sometimes when you most feel like saying no, the eys ends up being that much sweeter. glad you had that kind of experience :) and thanks for the reminder that yes is a nice word!

Christina Lee said...

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!! thx for the reminder!

SmallWorld at Home said...

Such an important parenting tip, and so easy to lose sight of!

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Today, I'm going to say yes. I don't know what they're going to ask, but I'm going to say yes. Why not, right?

This was a great lesson.

Graceful said...

It's funny...I just wrote a post about saying yes to post next Tuesday at Emily's place. I've written about yes a few times this year...because I am so very inclined to say no! Do you read Ann Voskamp's A Holy Experience? Back on December 20, 09, she wrote a post about saying yes that inspired me to join along with her. Saying yes doesn't come naturually to me, but the rewards are great!

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