never a dull moment around here

My dear sweet sister Kerry is facing another trial. On April 29, Kerry delivered precious Sadie Grace, who had died three weeks before she was to be born. In their grief, Kerry and Jeff have honored God and clung to Him. Kerry is barely recovered physically from the C-section, and now is facing another surgery today on her throat. She learned about it yesterday. She is told she will be in pain this next week as she recovers and waits to hear results on the thing they are removing from her throat. (I would call is something else if anyone knew what it was.)

We've been joking about it the last few days--quoting My Big Fat Greek Wedding--and the "bubopsy" and calling it her "twin". You know, trying to push the scary thoughts away with humor, at least a little bit. However, when the specialist got serious on her yesterday, the situation lost all funny.

When you lose a child (I did too--but that's another post to come), one result I've noticed is that you are left feeling very vulnerable. I mean, it is highly out-of-order to bury your child. So, if that could happen, anything could. So it's VERY easy to feel weak in the knees, even about the tonsillectomy Kerry faces today.

I trust God. He has proven Himself faithful. But, I don't pretend to know His plan. Sometimes His plan is painful. Oh, how I'm praying that the results of this surgery show that it's nothing to worry about. And praying that in God's mercy Kerry, who has been faithful in the most trying of times, would not experience much of the pain they've warned her of. That healing would come quickly. She's already emotionally exhausted from grief...I know she is leaning hard on the Lord. We all are.

If you are someone who prays, please pray for Kerry. I came across these lyrics today...on a friends blog. I've never heard this song. They sum up where I am today.

I have to believe, He sees my darkness
I have to believe, He knows my pain
I have to lift up, my hands to Worship
Worship His name

I have to declare, that He is my refuge
I have to deny, that I am alone
I have to lift up, my eyes to the mountains, thats where my help, it comes from

He said that He’s forever faithful
He said that He’s forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain, He can move your mountain too

I have to stand tall, when the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong, when i’m weak and afraid
I have to grab hold, a hold of the garments, the garments of praise

He said that He’s forever faithful (oh i know it)
He said that He’s forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain, He can move your mountain too

I have to sing praise, when the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains, that bind up my soul
my sin and my shame He has forgiven, and made me whole

He’s got everything under control
I have to believe

Lord I believe, help my unbelief
I have to believe in you
I have to believe