Mary's Story revisited, Part Three.

Just as I want to reach out to family and friends at this joyful season with the Christmas cards I still haven't managed to send, I also want to reach out to my (oft-neglected) blog-readers.  As Christmas speeds closer, I thought you might like to reflect for a minute or two on Mary.  Two years ago, I was asked to give a sermon in the first person as Mary, costume and all!  What follows is the text from that talk (reposted from 2009, I know, totally blog-cheating)--written as if Mary was speaking.   I hope you enjoy reflecting on the birth of our Savior!  Merry Christmas!

continued...to read from the beginning, start here.

When I returned to Nazareth I knew it was time to tell my parents and Joseph (aah, good, kind Joseph...) what God had done in me. The signs of pregnancy were beginning to show. Oh Lord, how would they ever believe me?

My parents did their best to be supportive, but I am not sure if they believed me. If this baby was not God’s own (and who ever heard of that?) then their daughter (who was betrothed!) had committed a wicked sin and dishonored the entire family. Yet, they wondered how I could ever make up such a story. They summoned Joseph and when I told him—he was disgusted and heartbroken. He didn’t say so…but I could see it on his face. He left without a word. That night I cried myself into a fitful sleep. I knew Joseph would likely divorce me…oh what would I do? I waited for word from him. I tried to be strong and take heart. God was in this. He gave me the strength to cooperate with his plans.

I was so relieved when a few days later Joseph returned to say that He believed me. He had thought to divorce me quietly without accusation (such a dear man), but God revealed to him that I was telling the truth. He took me as his wife and promised to care for this holy child as his own.

I remember the day that Joseph and I went to my parents and told them we needed to go to Bethlehem, the city of our ancestor David, for the census. My mother strongly objected. She said my time was near. She was right. I knew it too. But, it was law. God would sustain me. He hadn’t forgotten the baby inside of me. And now I see that God was fulfilling the words of the prophet Micah that said the messiah would come out of Bethlehem…. God was working through the Emperor of Rome to fulfill his prophecy. There’s something to ponder, huh?

Joseph didn’t have much in the way of travel comforts—but he put me and a few belongings, and food for the journey on a donkey and we set off after a tearful goodbye with my family. 

It was a journey that took over a week. It felt like a year. I was SO uncomfortable, and had to stop often to stretch my cramping muscles and rest my aching back. Any of you who have been heavy with child can relate to how I was feeling. Joseph was kind to me…but also was hurrying us along. He wanted to get there—I think it’s something about the way God created man—always wanting to get there. So, I did my best not to slow us down too much.

It seemed like the longest journey ever. Not just physically, but emotionally. I battled thoughts of inadequacy, and worries about what would happen when we arrived. How was this all going to work out? I felt like these were crazy circumstances.  I asked God once again to help me be strong and take heart and wait on him. The pains were coming on and off…and I began to pray we would at least make it to town to find the services of a midwife and a place to have this child. Would Joseph be delivering this baby on the side of the road to Bethlehem? “Oh God, rescue me!” I prayed.

We did make it in time…but we weren’t in town long when my water broke and the pains came quicker. The place was swarming with people, every last corner of folks homes were taken with relatives and travelers, and we had to bed down in a stable-- the place where animals were kept at night. At that point I didn’t care…I just wanted to have a place off the street to have this baby. A midwife was found and some distant female relatives attended me. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy—ah, you should have seen him—right there in the stable. Without my mother at my side. Without the comfort of home and the celebration of my family.

It wasn’t how I thought my first child’s birth would be. Certainly not. I had dreamed, as most girls did, of marrying a kind man and having lots of children. I never dreamed of this. I have to confess that I wondered if God had forgotten--in all of his Messiah-plans--to secure us a proper place for His arrival. Nothing is impossible with God. The messenger told me that. Why didn’t He remember to take care of securing someone’s guest room for us? A stable? Really? Is that where a king should be born??

But God granted me peace and my heart was filled with joy. He was here. My baby. The Messiah. God with us. And somehow that was more than enough. And He was born in a stable.

I have since come to know that there was a purpose in the stable. God wanted the world to see that this was a very different Messiah than the political king they expected. A messiah who would hang out with the lowly of society. (In fact, some of Jesus’s first visitors where a stinky, dirty group of shepherds—who weren’t intimidated to come visit us in the stable. Their story encouraged us so.) No this Messiah was not going to fit their expectations, but instead cause them to rethink most things they thought they knew. The stable was part of God’s plan from the beginning—regardless of whether I understood at the time.

I wonder if any of you are in your own stable of sorts. Circumstances that are unexpected, don’t make sense and make you wonder if God Almighty has forgotten about you? Maybe He seems silent. Your stable might be a season of heartache, or of discontent or of pain. How will you wait on the Lord? Will you trust that He is Good? That there is purpose in the stable?That there is something bigger going on? Will you ask God what it looks like in your life to be strong and take heart and wait on him?

Remember, God came to earth. As a baby. My baby. For all of us. He is with us. God with us. Immanuel. Praise be to God!

I hope this reflection on Mary encouraged you. Special thanks to Missy at It's Almost Naptime for her influence on this part of my talk.

Mary's Story revisited, Part Two.

Just as I want to reach out to family and friends at this joyful season with the Christmas cards I still haven't managed to send, I also want to reach out to my (oft-neglected) blog-readers.  As Christmas speeds closer, I thought you might like to reflect for a minute or two on Mary.  Two years ago, I was asked to give a sermon in the first person as Mary, costume and all!  What follows is the text from that talk (reposted from 2009, I know, totally blog-cheating)--written as if Mary was speaking.   I hope you enjoy reflecting on the birth of our Savior!  Merry Christmas!

(continued--the story starts here)

I knew what all this meant in my life. When my pregnancy was discovered it would appear as adultery. I would be labeled a sotah and as was our way, be asked to drink the bitter waters to determine if I was guilty or not. I had seen it happen to others—their clothes ripped to expose their skin, publicy scorned and made to be an example to others. If when she drank the bitter waters made her sick, she would be found guilty—and she would be condemned to death by stoning. Even if I was spared death, at the very least, Joseph would be legally bound to divorce me. My child would be an outsider and scorned by the villagers He would not be permitted in public assemblies. My reputation would never recover—I knew well the wagging tongues of the women in my village--and I would never marry. My child and I would be alone in the world. I would be breaking my parents hearts if they didn’t believe me…and I would be destroying Joseph’s reputation as well. If I was to defend myself and share that the child was God’s and not a man’s…I would be labeled blasphemous—perhaps the worst accusation of all.

I remember the weight of the realization that this would be costly. But when Almighty God asks you to do something…you say yes. I knew God’s faithfulness to our people in years gone by…and knew He was good. He had a plan and had somehow chosen me to play a big part in it. And I believed that He would be faithful to me.

And then came the waiting. There would be months til the child came. Days until I could know for sure this was really happening in my body. Weeks until I knew how Joseph and my family would respond.

We were no strangers to waiting—my people. We were God’s chosen people, awaiting a messiah, yet we lived under Roman rule. We were taught early on to fear the soldiers…my mom told me that whenever I heard the yells or hoofprints of Roman soldiers, I was to run and hide…cause it wasn’t unheard of for them to take a young women as their own. They did whatever they wanted and we were the ones to pay. We were oppressed and we were waiting for the messiah. Some had given up hope…it had been 400 years since God had made contact with His people and we waited to hear from Him again.I often dreamed of being one of those freed from Egypt—able to see God in the pillar of smoke and fire. At least they could see Him, and knew He was leading them and doing something. My people were waiting in silence—and nothing around us pointed to the long-awaited messiah. So we waited.

You see, waiting sounds passive. Yet it isn’t. Have you had to wait for something? Are you waiting now? Then you know…It’s active. It takes energy and perserverance. I was on a journey that I needed to be actively engaged in. I have even heard it said that waiting on God is the very work of the people of God.

So the question came to my heart—how will I wait? I remember my father quoting the scriptures. “Wait on the Lord, be strong and take heart, and wait on the Lord. So that’s how I wait…be strong and take heart. I asked God to give me strength for the journey ahead, and Hope that He was in control. I asked Him over and over again in coming months…and He was faithful. My hope was in Him.

After the initial shock wore off—I knew I needed to see my cousin Elizabeth. She is the only person who would understand what it was to be pregnant with a miracle baby. It was a five day journey. I hoped she would receive me and I would find her well. It was hard to wait to reach her and see that she truly was with child as the messenger said she was.

When I arrived… I saw her. My old, tender-hearted cousin, obviously with child!  What the messenger said was true! I happily called to her and before I even had a chance to tell her what had happened… she grasped her belly and gasped. I was afraid, “ohno! Elizabeth are you OK?” And she said with a huge smile on her weathered face, “When you greeted me, the baby in my womb leaped with joy!” She went on to proclaim that I was blessed among women and so was the baby I bore. She asked why she should be so favored that the mother of her Lord would come to her. She said I was blessed because I believed that what the Lord said to me would be accomplished. Oh Lord, thank you for this sign that nothing is impossible! My heart rejoiced and I sang out in praise to God. Elizabeth was such an encouragement to me, I decided to stay with her for the remainder of her pregnancy—about three months--to help until her baby was born. Then, I’d return to Nazareth.

It wasn’t long before it was obvious to me I was pregnant. I was so very tired, and my stomach was unsettled all the time. It was true. God had given me a baby.

to be continued tomorrow...

Mary's story revisited, Part One.

Just as I want to reach out to family and friends at this joyful season with the Christmas cards I still haven't managed to send, I also want to reach out to my (oft-neglected) blog-readers.  As Christmas speeds closer, I thought you might like to reflect for a minute or two on Mary.  Two years ago, I was asked to give a sermon in the first person as Mary, costume and all!  What follows is the text from that talk (reposted from 2009, I know, totally blog-cheating)--written as if Mary was speaking.   I hope you enjoy reflecting on the birth of our Savior!  Merry Christmas!

I am so humbled and thankful for this opportunity to share the story of the birth of my first -born son, Jesus, with you. It is my favorite story of all.  Of course, all mothers love to tell of their experiences of bringing their children into the world…I’m no exception. But this birth story is so un-ordinary.   And it doesn’t belong just to me—but to all of us.  I’ve treasured these things and pondered them in my heart and am so happy to be sharing them with you.

Even after all of these years I still can’t believe this happened to me. I was just a poor, jewish girl from an obscure village of 400 called Nazareth. I’ll never understand why God chose me to be the one.

Let me start at the beginning. I hadn’t been of marrying age very long…but was already pledged to be married to Joseph, a local carpenter. This was the first stage of marriage, and meant that although I still lived with my folks, I was legally Joseph’s wife. My parents had arranged the marriage, as was our custom. I was relatively pleased with their choice. I didn’t know him well, but I knew he was from our tribe, and from the royal line of David, and that he observed the Torah and loved God. He had a trade that would provide us a sufficient living. What more could I ask for? I knew I would easily grow to love him…just like my mother learned to love my father…and was anticipating the day when he would take me to his home and I would live as his wife.

One day during that time of betrothal--the day that forever changed my life--as I took a break from my daily chores to rest, I felt a disturbance in the air. It’s hard to describe—but the hair on my arms stood up on end and my skin tingled. I looked up and before me was a figure unlike any person I had ever seen before. He was glowing so bright I could not make out his face. He said, “Greetings favored one! The Lord is with you”.

To say I was startled and afraid was an understatement…my heart was racing, my breath was caught in my throat. Could he mean me? Favored? Then he told me not to be afraid and called me by name, Mary. When he said my name, a peace came over me—for which I’m very thankful. I’m not sure I would have been able to hear what he said next because of the pounding of my heart in my ears! But God calmed me. The messenger went on to tell me that I would be with child, and give birth to a son, and give him the name Jesus. (I remember hoping he meant eventually…but somehow knew he meant soon.)

He then went on to tell me the most overwhelming news of all—that this son will be great and will be called Son of the Most High! He will have David’s throne! And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever…His kingdom would have no end!

My mind swirled with the implications of what he was saying. I knew promises of the scriptures well enough to know he was saying that I would be giving birth to the long-awaited Messiah!

I asked him how this could be that I would be with child when I hadn’t been with any man? And then he told me I would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit! I had never heard of that before…and didn’t understand…but he spoke with such authority that I knew that what he was telling me must be true. 

As if this wasn’t enough for me to take in…He went on to tell me that my cousin Elizabeth was pregnant as well! Let me tell you, this was just as impossible as me being pregnant—as she was well past child-bearing age and had never even been able to have a child. Elizabeth had long ago given up hope on ever having a child. He said nothing is impossible with God.

In my opinion, the most surprising thing of all was yet to come. The most surprising thing was that I consented! I said, “I am the lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said.” God gave me the strength to muster some courage and agree to this plan. As soon as I did, the messenger left me.

to be continued tomorrow...

thirty thankful days-day 29-this season (and I don't mean Christmas this time)

Every day in November I am posting something I'm thankful for, and I would love to have you join me!  Link to your thankful post below, or write about it in the comments.  Let's be thankful together!

Today I thank God for this season I'm in.  It's a season of unsure steps, of new ways of relating, new ways of doing.  It has me a bit off-balance, cause the self-reliance I have chosen in the not-so-far past has fallen short. Thankfully.  God has so much more for me than self-reliance.

It is a season of embracing...embracing the person God has made me to be (as opposed to who I thought I wanted to be); embracing my age and stage of life (I still am shocked I'm middle-aged and have a young woman for my daughter!); embracing that I'm so far from perfect in relationships (but that I'm learning, still); embracing what is ahead (unknown, and ready or not!).

This season of newness, change, introspection, wondering, and trying new ways...it's Good.  I guess I thought (deep down) that I would be well on my way to "arrived" by now.  So I find myself surprised.  I didn't expect for God to bring new things, to call me to deep healing, to make me rethink.  I could get overwhelmed and immobilized (I do that).  But God has called me to keep stepping forward--and realize that the steps only seem unsure when I forget that I can trust.  This season is one best navigated with complete dependence on God and is so out of my control.  I don't always like it--but I'm safe.  And I'm thankful.

I invite you to link up today here with your thankful post as part of thirty thankful days here at theGoodlife, as well as celebrate the everyday gifts with emily at chatting at the sky...I am.

thirty thankful days-day 16-healing journey

Every day in November I am posting something I'm thankful for, and I would love to have you join me!  Link to your thankful post below, or write about it in the comments.  Let's be thankful together!

Today I'm thankful for the Healing Journey class I'm taking--a Bible-based class designed to bring healing to wounded hearts.  God told me to take this class back when He told me to "let go of the safety ropes", and I signed up.  I didn't think I needed that much healing, so I wasn't that excited about it.  But I was being obedient, stepping one more step forward.

Well, you guessed it, I am learning so much.  As I expected, many parts of the class are foundational to our faith and reinforce what I already believe.  The part of the class I am enjoying the most though is learning new frameworks with which to understand my feelings, thoughts and actions.  I'm starting to understand some of my patterns I'm stuck in.  I'm learning ways to process the wounds I have received.  I'm being given a vocabulary to speak about things I didn't really understand.  I've been to counseling a few seasons of my life...and this is building on things I learned then and I believe giving me tools for the future.  Our Small Group time each week is particularly meaningful--we listen to each other.  That's it.  We don't judge.  It's a gift to be heard.  Our small group leader then helps us with the processes we are learning to use.  We have a-ha moments.  We rejoice at the progress we see each other making in understanding ourselves.  God is at work.

Last night at our class, the class author and teacher (we watch her on video), Cyndy Sherwood, was there to talk to us and encourage us in person.  I really enjoyed meeting her and hearing what she had to say to us as a group.  One of the main things I remember is the way she related the class to shopping for something like clothes or a car.  She said the video/teaching is like the part of shopping when you gather information (see what's in the store, go online, see what's being offered).  The small group time is like taking the car for a test drive, or trying on the clothes--seeing how the information intersects with our life, learning how to apply the teaching.  But if all we did was find out the information, and test-drive it, and they go home--we don't own anything new.  Instead, there needs to be a transaction.  She said the transaction (the life-change) happens when we do our homework.  That's where decisions are made, we do business with God, and  the life-altering processing occurs.  I think that is true for most Bible Study classes--without the soul-work on your own with God, all you get is information...what do you think?

I'm thankful today that God led me to this class.  He is using it--along with trials and conversations with others--to help me face my "stuff", so I don't have to drag it around any more.  God wants to heal me--even of wounds and destructive patterns I was barely aware of.  He loves me too much to leave me the way I am.  Sometimes it's hard, but I'm thankful.  So thankful.

What are you thankful for today?  Link up or comment!  Let's fill up blogland with thankfulness!

A few simple instructions for the link up:

-please link to your specific thankful post--not just your blog

-please link back to theGoodlife in your post so others can join the fun!
-feel free to grab the 30 thankful days graphic--I haven't figured out how to make it a button yet.  I'm such a techy, huh?

Letting go of the safety ropes.

Do you get stuck?

I am learning that I am easily stuck where I am when I can't see the whole way through something.  I'd like to see all the steps to where I'm going--and then I'll start moving.  If I can't see how something will work all the way through, I can be immobilized until I get all of that information.  Can anyone relate??

This hasn't been wildly apparent to me--cause I push past it enough to not have it completely disable me.  Yet a wise mentor has called it out a few times in regards to my leadership and ministry, and I see the truth in it.  And I've begun to recognize it in myself emotionally as well.  God is gently showing me.

(It's good to recognize our "stuff", don't you think?  Only then can we address and push past those obstacles to Abundant Life.)

Anyway.

Late this summer, during one of my-listen-to-God-and-write-it-down times, God spoke to me about moving forward.  As I journaled about the things that were heavy on my heart that day--there were many unknowns ahead of me.  Many emotions swirling through my head.  I listed it all out in my favorite fabric covered notebook.

That's my favorite notebook cover on the right.  It makes me happy.

And then I listened.  And wrote down what the Father said.  He said, "Trust me and move forward.  I will lead you step by step.  Seek me and follow me."

(I sincerely hope you don't mind me sharing these intimate conversations God and I have.  It is not my desire to make you uncomfortable, but rather to encourage you. )

He went on to say, "Lean heavily on Me so you do not fall.  I have you.  I HAVE YOU.  You can let go of the safety ropes."

What??  What safety ropes?  What are you talking about God?

God brought to mind the ropes course I did on a women's retreat this past spring.  I've done ropes course adventures many times, and they don't really intimidate me much.  But as I was finishing this course, friends cheering me on, I got a bit stuck.  OK, more than a bit stuck.  This part of the course had me on a wobbly cable that I needed to traverse from one tree to the next--maybe 25 feet away.  To make it possible, there were poles attached to the cable I was walking on and the cable above me--but they were spaced further apart then my reach...and my "coach" from the camp said it would need to be a leap of faith.

This is a friend on that part of the ropes course.  She was not stuck at all.  Of course...she could reach the poles.  I know it doesn't look THAT scary. 

I was on belay and the belay rope was easy to grab for some stability on the shaky cable (made more shaky by me!).  However, I couldn't reach ahead to the next pole, and move ahead unless I let go of my belay rope.

I hope you enjoy these pics of me at my best--purple helmut and a little overwhelmed.

Aaah...I'm starting to see it Lord.  You want me to move forward, and it will take a leap of faith--right out of my comfort zone.

Let go of my safety ropes.  Hmmm.  What are my safety ropes?  I began to list...

Control.
People liking me.
Approval from important people in my life.
My PLAN.
Comfort.
The sure and known.
etc...

Ugh.  God, I don't think I know how to let go of these things.  My knees shake and even though I know you are there, it's so hard...

"But you are stuck if you don't let go.  You don't get to move forward.  Stationary.  Boring.  My plan is always ahead...keep stepping forward and keep asking what the next step is in each of these situations you've brought to Me.  I am the only one who truly knows.  The rest are only illusions of safety.  I am the only TRUE SAFE.  I've got you.  Do you trust me??"

..........

I don't know if you get easily stuck like me.  I don't know what situations in your life are hard to move forward in.  I don't know what safety ropes you are tempted to hang on to for dear life.

God's plan is always ahead.  Even if the next step is to wait--God can tell you--it is still moving forward in His plan for you.  Ask Him.  Trust Him.  Let go.

I am.  It's part of the Good life.

On Writing Conversations with God

I love Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

The story behind Jesus Calling is that Sarah, a missionary, began filling her journals with what she felt God was saying to her.  Many years later, excerpts from those words from God where compiled into this and other devotionals, and read as though God is speaking directly to the reader.  I'm convinced that sometimes He is.

More than a year ago, our pastor taught on Sabbath.  About taking time to stop normal, and rest, play, and be with God.  Not just to talk to Him, or even study His Word, but to be with Him.  And that involves hearing from Him.  Listening.  Letting Him speak into our lives, into whatever is on our hearts.

Intrigued by Sarah's words from God, and challenged by Pastor Don's teaching, I decided to try something new during my time with God sometimes.  I decided to try to journal not only my words to God, but His words to me.

I know it might sound a little iffy--a little risky--to attempt to write down what God would say.  I mean...cmon...who am I to think I know His words?  Yet, He speaks.  And I've found this practice very meaningful.  It seems that God meets me there.  In the writing down, there seems to be greater clarity.  I write quickly and try not to analzye too much as I'm writing, or else my dumb brain just gets in the way.  I go back and reread the conversation...and the insights have been, at times, incredible.  (Of course, anything that would be counter to scriptural truth would be dismissed quickly--but that hasn't happened so far.)

At the risk of you thinking I'm a total-fruitcake, I thought about sharing one of the conversations with you all here...but they are all so personal, I'm not sure they would mean much to anyone but me.  In fact, I've just glanced back at my journal from the last year looking for something I could share that doesn't include all kinds of details that would need explanation, or shouldn't be shared here.  I did find one of my very first written conversations from a year ago, written during one of my sitting-in-the-car-at-soccer-practice quiet times. It kind of made me chuckle at the "clunkiness" of it.  Here is the beginning:

So I'm sitting here
in my car
unsure if You have something to say
time with You goes quickly, so I want to treasure it,
but I grow impatient--waiting for You to speak.
                            Then stop talking.
I did.  I waited!
                            Only for a few seconds.
It's weird to me to sit and do nothing.
                             I know.  But I need you to slow down so your brain can be at a
                             wavelength to hear Me.
OK. I'll wait here with unfocused thoughts.  And shut up.  And even if all you have to say is "glad you are here" that is fine.

As I continue reading in my journal I see that I did sit and wait that day.  And rather than continue the conversation, God gave me a picture.  I saw myself sitting at His feet with my head in His lap.  (God's lap!  wow.)  And God was stroking my hair.  (How intimate!).  I don't usually like people stroking my hair, cause their fingers get caught in my curls and kind of pull on it.  Yet, God was stroking my hair and I liked it.  I imagined Him having the same difficulty with my curls and I felt bad about it.  He said to me at that moment, "I gave you these curls".  And I imagined My Lord smiling.

OK, so that was not the life instruction I thought I'd hear that day.  Instead God just wanted me to know how much He treasures time with me.  How much He loves me.  Just the way I am.

Wow, right?

Perhaps that wasn't the best example of the sometimes-long conversations God and I have in my journal, cause it turned into a mental picture with a simple message.  Regardless, you get a glimpse in the beginning of how I write the conversation down as it's happening.  And it is not unusual for God to speak words of love and reassurance to my heart.  I figure He'd use those opportunities to tell me how I need to change and which way to go (He does that too) but more often than not He seems to want to reassure me of His love.

Give it a try!  Talking to God in written form slows the whole thing down--cause writing is a bit more laborious than just thinking, but I don't think the slow is bad.  And, I like being able to go back and read our conversations later.

How thankful I am that we have a God that wants to be with us and wants to speak with us.  It doesn't really matter if we write it or draw it, or even sing it.  What matters is that we go to Him.  And we listen.

I hope you carve some time to listen today.

Something's brewing...

Nope.  It's not coffee.  I am the socially-handicapped one who doesn't like coffee, remember?

Something is brewing in me.  I don't know what it is, but it's Good.  I feel like I'm on the verge of something God wants to do in me.

artwork by bubba 2010

I can tell.  Emotions have been raw.  Situations have been frustrating.  My heart has been tenderized.  I am seeing more clearly my need for healing, my need for a Savior.  I see my ungratefulness, my sin.  And I see His Love.  His personal, I know just what you really need, Love.

He is calling me forward--somewhere deeper, somewhere new.  He's (thankfully!) not done with me yet. He is sending me situations where I have no choice but to trust and lean.  He is sending me listening ears to help me process.  He has been speaking to me through others, through books that are finding their way to my lap almost haphazardly, and through the quiet and reflection I find myself drawn to.

It's a little unsettling, I must admit.  I feel vulnerable emotionally right now, like I'm walking the edge of a cliff.   I am asking Him to help me not close off my heart in an attempt to be safe.  I need to stay open to what He is doing, continue to walk along the edge.  I also need to keep coming to Him--not let busyness distract me from what's He doing.

I honestly don't know where He's taking me, but I feel His gentle hand guiding me, little by little, somewhere.  I feel Hope.  I really think something Good is brewing...

Do you ever feel like that?  On the verge of something?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Here's what I'm claiming...join me.

be still, part one

First of all, I'm so excited that some of you have decided to join the 24over24 challenge.  It's not too late...join us!

When I won credit to Lisa Leonard Designs, I thought I'd have a hard time choosing.  And at first I certainly did...cause I have many MANY, favorites.  But once I thought about it, I knew exactly which one I had to choose.

Be Still

It's the Be Still necklace.  I knew because God has been teaching me to be still in so many ways lately.  Because He knows me.  And He knows I want to be anything but still.  I want to be fixing.  I want to be leading.  I want to be helping.  I want to be planning, researching, discussing, solving.

back of necklace

For my hubby (and therefore, for me too) this has been a hard summer.  There have been challenges that no matter how hard we try, we can't conquer.  They are beyond us.  Stress, frustration and discouragement have been regular visitors to our home.  Hopelessness and fear have even stopped by a few times.  These are not the houseguests we wanted.

In the midst of one tough week, God had me read the account of the Israelites being led out of Egypt.  As they came upon the Red Sea, with the Egyptians on their tails...things looked pretty hopeless.  There was no way out.  I'm sure they despaired.  But through the night, God was blowing back the water.  I have to think they may not have been able to see it happening, so the despair continued while God was already making a way.

I have never been trapped against a sea with an army pursuing me--but I have felt the despair and defeat they must have felt.  I have wondered why God wasn't answering my prayers.  I have felt stupid for having hope.  Yet God was working, even when I couldn't see it.  He was making a way--even if it wasn't a way I would have ever considered.

Do you know what God had Moses tell the Israelites while they despaired on the shore of the sea?  He said, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." (Ex. 14:14)

But how?  Be still.  Can I help?  Be still.  Should I make a plan?  Be still.  What if?  Be still.

I don't know what Red Sea you are up against, or the army that might be pursuing you, but I know this...

The Lord will fight for you.

Be still.

Learn with me, bloggies.

24over24

My dear friend Carly is a woman who loves and pursues God.  She also is fun and sassy--which makes her a truly delightful person to know.  She has invited and challenged the women in her life to spending an hour a day with God over the next 24 days  (Sept. 7 - Sept. 30).  Here is what she says, 


"While I love my time with God, I have struggled over the last couple months to meet with Him as much as I'd like to.  I've let life's distractions steal my time with Jesus. What came to mind was to commit to spend at least 1 hour a day alone with God for 24 days.  While I don't believe there is any "cookie-cutter" right way to spend time with God (amount of time, time of day, etc.) and there isn't any magic in the 1hour/day equation, I needed a solid & well-defined commitment to jump start and build momentum in this area of my life and 24over24 is what God laid on my heart."


Don't you just love her?!?  

Carly and me.

I have decided to join in--even though I am not an-hour-a-day-quiet-time sort of gal.  I tend to be a two/three hours once or twice a week, twenty minutes other days, and some days a quickly muttered prayer of desperation as I run out the door to my day.  So, at Carly's invitation, I am going to try this whole consistency thing.

I would sincerely like to invite you to join us!  

Seriously, this invitation is for you whether you are a regular reader of theGoodlife (bless you faithful few!) or just have found yourself here by way of chatting at the sky, or other haphazard clicking.  If you have stumbled on this post, consider this an invitation from God and me.  If it's no longer September 7, so what?  Do less than 24 days...or extend it past September.  As Carly says, there is no magic formula.  


If you would like to join in the 24over24 challenge--let me know it the comments.  It will bless Carly's socks off to know you've hopped on board with us! I will follow up with you all in some way, and maybe even have a linky party in a week or so to hear about your experiences.


Perhaps you have never spent time with God, or not much, but you are interested.  What do you do?  Again, no magic formula, now am I an expert, but I can make a few suggestions: 


1) Be intentional.  Pick a time, pick a place as my pastor says.  It can be a different time on different days if need be...but figure it out before each day begins or it will slip away.


2) Pray.  Simply talk to God and ask Him to lead  you through your time with Him.  Tell Him your concerns and fears.  No special words needed--He's just glad you are talking with Him.


3) Read God's Word--the Bible.  You can find a reading plan online, or you can try reading 5 Psalms a day.  ( I start with the Psalm that coordinates with today's date and then keep reading every 30th Psalm until you read 5.  For example, today I would read Psalm 7, Psalm 37, Psalm 67, Psalm 97, Psalm 127.  You can read them all in a month that way.)  You could also read the chapter of Proverbs that correspond with the date.  If you are brand new to God's Word, you could start by reading one of the Gospels that tell about Jesus' life:  Matthew, Mark, Luke or John.


4) You could also read a devotional.  There are many wonderful devotionals out there.  My current favorite is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  It is SO good, and deserves it's own post one of these days.


5) Journal your thoughts, your prayers, what you think God is saying to you.  I NEED to journal.  It's the external processor in me.  You might not.  You might draw or sit quietly or sing in response.  It's your time with God.


6)  Listen.  This is a difficult discipline for me, but one I am working on, and will specifically work on during 24over24.  God wants to speak to me, and I look forward to what He has to say.


7) Don't give up.  Miss a day?  Not quite get to an hour?  Don't stop.  Don't stop!  Perfection is not the goal.  Hanging out with God is.


Today, I am joining emily at chatting at the sky for Tuesdays Unwrapped where we celebrate everyday gifts.  Today I am celebrating that God has given me friends like Carly to challenge and encourage me.


Again, I invite you to join in 24over24!  I am excited to see how God will work in our lives as we do.  Just let me know you are going for it in the comments, and leave your email if it isn't attached to your profile.  This way, I can include you in any follow up info.  I'll be in touch!

Eyes to See

I posted the other day about God Sightings, and the practice of watching for God in our lives.  I believe it's a habit that can be developed--to look for God.  But first, the belief that God is active in our daily lives needs to be fostered, and the expectation of His involvement needs to be nurtured.


During Aidan's life, one of the ways God took care of us was that He gave us eyes to see His presence and His involvement in the whole situation.  This reassured us that He was aware of what was going on, and in control.  We could trust Him, because He was there.  And although He didn't answer our prayers how we wanted Him to, we could rest knowing that He was intimately involved in each aspect of our experience.  He had not forgotten us.


Since that time, when I hear of other's struggles, I have made a point to pray that they would have "eyes to see" God active in their circumstances.  This last week I have been praying that God would give my dear friends Jeff and Karyn eyes to see His work.  {Jeff and I used to work together in IL, and he was also the youth pastor at our church here in CO.}  


You see, Jeff is a pastor now, and a week ago Sunday, right before he was to preach, Jeff suffered a grand mal seizure.  {ummmmm...that's one way to get out of preaching, huh?}  Tests later revealed he had a brain tumor on his right frontal lobe--cause still unknown.  Thursday morning, Jeff had brain surgery, and is currently recovering at a rehab hospital.  Oh, how I pray that in the midst of so much uncertainty their eyes see God's presence.

I popped over to Jeff's blog to grab a link for you all if you are interested--and guess what?  God has already been answering my prayers!  I believe this post is Karyn's account of a God Sighting!  God is just SO cool,  isn't he?

Have you had any God Sightings lately?  I pray, dear bloggies, that whatever you might be facing right now...that God would give you eyes to see Him.  He's there.

We are not ants.

"Ants don't sleep."

That's what Bubba read me from the cool facts app on my ipod as we drove down the road.  Really?? I didn't know that...although I do know that those little guys are busy, busy little guys.

On Saturday, Bubba and I were weeding (you know, pulling the grass out from where we don't want it to grow even though it's not growing well where we want it to).  Some of the grass was growing from below a stepping stone, so we lifted it up.  We found ant-land.  We saw tunnels and ants running around.  We saw larva and as soon as we lifted the stone the ants scurried over to the larva and carried it deeper under ground.  It was cool and gross at the same time--perfect entertainment for a young man.  They were working hard and fast.

see the larva?

Then two nights ago--Pickle found a few ants in our kitchen.  We looked closely and realized they were just a few of the many parading through our home.  We followed the parade backwards and learned they were marching along the crack of our wood floor and carpet, along the wall, the crease at the bottom of the stairs, again along more wood floor and carpet to the front door.  That's a long way for those little legs!  Those ants don't stop!

(Sorry, insect-lovers, but armed with super-spray, we happily killed them all. )

Ants don't sleep.  Ants don't stop.  They keep going, keep marching, keep working.  They jump into action when a crisis arises and the babies need to be carried below.  The are willing to walk and walk and walk in search of some crumbs.

We are not ants.  I know you know this.  But do you?  How do you live your life?  Do you act like an ant?  Do you think you just can't stop?  Are you afraid of stopping?  Feel guilty for it?  Do you only stop when the super-spray of exhaustion or illness takes you down?

We've been talking a lot about stopping at church lately.  We've been talking about Sabbath.  Our pastor has been leading us down a road of exploring the gift of Sabbath that could just revolutionize our lives and relationships with God.

I can't wait to share more with you on this...but first:  Are you too much like an ant?  Do you practice Sabbath?  Talk to me!

remembering Sadie

I can't let this day pass without acknowledging it's significance to our family.  One year ago today my sister Kerry gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Sadie Grace.  I was in the waiting room, but my heart was in the delivery room, aching so deeply for my sister.  You see, we already knew that Sadie had moved on to her heavenly home.  As we held her precious body that day, and kissed her, and admired her, she was already resting in Jesus' arms.  


I felt so sad, and so numb.  This was a little too familiar.  It had been almost 10 years since we had said hello to our little boy Aidan, only to say goodbye to him 4 short months later.    I couldn't believe that my sister and brother-in-law were experiencing the same grief we had endured.  I couldn't believe my mom and dad had to say goodbye to another grandchild, and watch another daughter grieve.  


But regardless of all the complicated emotions I felt a year ago today, what I KNEW was that God would walk them--us--through.  That the evil of the situation would not be able to harm them.  That amazingly, when facing a parent's worst nightmare, they would not be swallowed up.  Sadie wasn't the only one being held by our loving God--we all were.  The song "Held" by Natalie Grant captures what we experienced when we lost Aidan, and what I trusted Kerry and Jeff would experience too.  The chorus says:


This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held


Yes, we had been held.  I specifically remember during Aidan's life the feeling of Someone outside myself holding me up as bad news threatened to consume me.  I remember the comfort of Jesus' arms as I sat on my couch each day for months and cried and missed my boy.  The holding is very real.  And I'm so thankful.  That I experienced it myself, and could hang on to the fact that Kerry would experience it too.  It was that Hope that propelled me through the blur of days surrounding Sadie's death.


I don't understand why Aidan and Sadie didn't get to stay with us...but I do know that God used their lives to change us, to mold us and to tenderize us.  He is a redeemer,  and is redeeming the suffering.  We choose to accept the loss of these precious ones as Big-G-Good, in spite of the pain of the choice.  With our hearts soft towards Him, He allows us to see glimpses of the reality of the Good.


We love and miss you, sweet Sadie.  Until we see you again, enjoy the love and joy of our Savior.