the Hope I find in the Garden

picture: www.lostseed.com

"Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."  Matthew 26:39

It's a hard portion of scripture.  The anguish in the garden.  Those He counted on were mere humans and asleep.  He anguished to the point of sweating blood.  I don't like it.  My Savior--all-knowing--knowing what was to come.  It was part of the Plan, yet He struggled with the anticipation, with acceptance.  He was fully God, but He was fully human as well.

Yes, it's hard to read.  Even harder to see depicted. I want to fast forward to the resurrection, to the defeat of pain and death and evil.  To the Hope.  To the realization of the Big-G-Good.  Yet, I miss out if I fast-forward.  I miss out on the hope in the midst of the torment of the garden.

Jesus asked His Father if this cup may be taken from Him...Jesus Himself asked this.

When we were going through my infant son Aidan's illness and death, I remember many moments when I anguished.  When I didn't want to be brave.  When I didn't want God's comfort in the midst of the pain...I wanted the pain to go away.  I wanted the cup to be taken from me, from Aidan, from my family.

And I felt guilty.  Deep down I wanted God's Plan,  God's Good for my life.  But when being brutally honest, I did NOT want God's Plan for me to include losing a son.  The Liar was there to tell me that I must not really love God, that I wasn't satisfied enough with Him to accept His will.

Then my Lord gently pointed me to the Garden.  To where He asked the same thing--please, if there is any other way to accomplish Your purpose, Lord, take this from me.

I find great comfort in knowing that even Jesus felt this way.

The key is that He didn't leave it there.  We know He went on to say--but not my will, but Yours.  And so did I.  So do I.

I don't want my own will (sometimes I think I do--that's for sure!).  I want God's Good.  For me, for those I love, and for His Kingdom.  And sometimes God's Good is hard.

But in the garden, for a brief moment, He asked for a way out of the hard.  It's OK when I do too.  There is no guilt in wanting a way out.  Jesus' example is there.

As long as I am resigned to God's will and not my own.  And through the tears, the anguish that this life sometimes brings, I can freely ask for relief, for another way.  Jesus did.

Current struggles are not as intense as losing my son, or some other life-alterers I've faced.  But I have the same feelings of wanting it to go away, and the brief guilt for not accepting.  For wanting things to be different.  The garden reminds me.

I can rest in knowing a loving Father hears me and loves me and hurts for me in my pain.  He sees it.  He is not offended at my desire for the pain to pass. 


And He rejoices in the offering that doesn't come from feeling--not my will God, but Yours.

Yes, there is Hope in the garden.

This post is linked up with other Holy Week reflections at Holy Experience.

(in which I blabber on like you are interested...)

It's true, bloggies, I'm back.  My crazy week-plus is over and I think I can pull off a blog post or two this week.  I missed you!  I missed reading posts and interacting with you.  However, I did enjoy my blog-break once I accepted the fact that I was just going to miss a bunch of posts...and let it go.

Anyway, here's what went down since I last posted, folks.

Last weekend, the kids and I got to go to the Rock and Worship Road Show, featuring Sidewalk Prophets, Remedy Drive, Fee, Family Force Five, Francesca Battistelli, David Crowder Band, and Mercy Me.  We got there early and placed Phase Ten Dice as we waiting in line for the concert.  It was bright--notice the squint and the shades.

Here are the kids waiting for the concert to begin...

We had a great time.  I had never seen any of those groups in person, and enjoyed them all.  Well, OK, I might be a little old for Family Force 5--but they were certainly entertaining--as were their screaming fans!  I LOVED David Crowder Band.  If you get a chance to see this show...it's totally worth your $10 at the door.

My kiddos and my hubby had spring break this past week.  I, however, had a big event at the end of the week that had me working 12 hour days.  Boo.  They helped me a lot, and I managed to take Tuesday off altogether and we had a family day.  We planned to head to Denver for a museum or two, but a predicted snowstorm kept us in town.  Instead, we did some shopping together and then took in Alice in Wonderland in 3D.  I never liked the Alice story before--but really enjoyed this version.  Alice was a wonderful heroine, and her adventures kept us all engaged.  Johnny Depp always does weird so well--and he does the Mad Hatter in a mad-yet-loveable way.

And, I might just have to work "Off with her head!" into my vernacular, cause it looks so satisfying to say when Helena Bonham Carter says it.

On the way home from the movies we got caught in the predicted snowstorm and had a treacherous ride back.  We got several inches of snow in a matter of a half hour or so--it was crazy!  I really appreciated snuggling together when we finally made it to our warm and cozy home.

Our Easter community event (Easterrific) pulled together well.  I worked hard, and in many ways have not recuperated yet...but I am a few good night's sleeps away.  Another snowstorm kept the turnout lower than I would have liked, but that is out of my control (I had to keep reminding myself of this).  We had a carnival and The Easter Path--an interactive journey through the Easter story that I worked really hard on.  I think it turned out to be a meaningful experience for many.

While my family and I were busy Easterrificing, my middle sister, Kim was flying into town for a girls weekend together.   We laughed a lot!  And although I was tired, I had a faboo time.  I hope Kim did too--we miss her!  Here is a pic of the girls at lunch on Sunday--Kim has been joking that she needs to get glasses.

We also made really cool washer necklaces...here is Kim and Pickle working on theirs.

Here are the ones I made before they were dry.  In fact, they still might not be dry...we were a little heavy handed with the glaze...

We all went to The Thorn--a fantastic, sensory-overloaded, intense Easter play put on by a huge local church.  It is a meaningful part of our Easter celebration--as we go most years.  This was Kim's and Bubba's first time and Pickle brought her "valentine" for his first time too.  You can get a glimpse of the spectacularness here.

I took Monday off from work to hang out with my sissies and mom some more...and we shopped, went to Pickle's dance class and enjoyed a family pizza night at our house at the end of the day.  It was after pizza that my 3 year old nephew might have squeezed my bottom and tried to pass it off on my hubby.  The kid's hysterical!

Today, it's time to get back into the swing of things.  I had my morning at Panera, a start-to-catch-up day at work, and have a short list of stuff I want to do tonight.  Mostly, I want to go to bed early.  Cause I'm beat, bloggies.

Here's hoping for more meaningful posts to come...thanks for letting me blabber my way back into blogland.

a short bloggie-break

Hello bloggies.

Just popping in to say that I am taking an intentional bloggie break this week.

This week I'm...

*  deep into our Easterrific community event I'm leading at church--to be held tomorrow night!
*  taking (not enough, but some) time to be with my kids since they are on spring break.
*  anticipating my sister flying in Friday for a girl's weekend!
*  excited about the dozen people getting baptized on Sunday--and that I had the privilege of teaching their baptism class.
*  not sleeping too well with all sorts of details spinning, spinning, spinning through my head.
*  digging out from a spring snowstorm that came in with a fury Tuesday night, and hoping the one predicted for Friday night stays away long enough for Easterrific to happen and my sis to get into town.
*  wishing I had time to spring-i-fy my house.
*  missing blog-world--cause I haven't read my blog feed and know I'm missing all sorts of wonderfulness.
*  trusting God, cause He's got everything under control.

I'll be back blabbing at you next week!

Company Girl Coffee 3.19

It's Friday and I'm hooking up with the Company Girls for our weekly blog chat.

It must be Colorado.  It was 70 degrees and sunny yesterday and today it's snowing!  They say we are expecting 7 inches at our house.  Schools closed due to the predictions--but we are sitting here around noon with nothing on the roads.  Pickle has been on Spring Break (gotta love snow on Spring Break!) since Wednesday anyway, and Bubba has been home with fever/cold/pinkeye and was heading in for his last day before break.  Now we are all home and enjoying a VERY lazy morning.


I have been pretty absorbed with the Easter event we have coming up a week from today (!) at church.  I have been working on it for a long while, but this week it was time to nail everything down.  I spent lots of time gathering volunteers and figuring out details.  My new office set-up at church is really helping me tune out the office hubbub and to focus!  I'm so glad we changed it around, even if many at church have commented that it looks like I've been given a time out. :0)

As I mentioned, we have been enjoying some nice weather here, and along with Daylight Savings Time, it's really making it feel like Spring.  Nothing is green here yet, and I haven't decorated my house for Spring yet...but I'm getting in the mood. Are you?? Even the snow isn't bothering me, cause I know it won't last long.

We don't have big plans for Spring Break, but I am hoping to steal away some time from a busy week at church to do some fun stuff with the kids.  Hubby is off too (a perk of working at a school!), so even if I'm busy--he will hang with the kids.  And the whole family will help with making things happen for the Easter event too--working together is fun.

One thing we do have planned is to head here on Sunday:

We are pretty excited--it's only $10 at the door and general seating so we'll be getting there early and camping out in line.  It will be a fun day.

That's all for today, cause I need to turn my lazy morning into some afternoon productivity.

A Love Letter to Mr. DVR

Dear Mr. DVR-

I have a love/hate relationship with your partner, Mr. TV.  We have a long, sordid relationship.  I love Mr. TV best when I am not supposed to be doing something else, and one of his totally engaging programs allows me to veg out and relax.  I love Mr. TV when someone I love and I can laugh together at something funny he broadcasts into our home.  I love Mr. TV when he gives us the option of an appropriate show that our whole family can enjoy together—either learning, or laughing, or rooting for someone to dance their best.  Yes, sometimes I have a deep love for Mr. TV.

However, Mr. TV is also a time-sucker and priority-messer-upper.  I don’t like him when he's those things.  Sometimes he acts like he is in control, and he never should be.  I don’t like when he makes me watch something I’m actually not that interested in, just because it’s the only thing on.  Or when I don’t have time to watch Mr. TV, and he broadcasts something I like so much I find myself putting what’s important aside to view him, because I can’t tear myself away.  I don’t like when I’m totally absorbed in a program and my kids need my attention, and I see them as an interruption.  (Oh, I really hate you then, Mr. TV.)  And when I need my kids to focus on real life conversations and responsibilities, and he steals their focus, causing them to ignore and blow-off those things—I could seriously throw Mr. TV out the door at that point!

But then, I’d miss him, I’m afraid.

That’s why I’m so glad he found you, Mr. DVR (aka Mr. Don't View Rightnow).  You take Mr. TV’s control away.  You have restored a right relationship between Mr. TV and me.  You strengthen his strengths and limit his weaknesses.  Mr. TV doesn’t get to suck me in when I don’t have time…I can press record and watch it later.  If I need the kids to do something and they are in the middle of a program, they can hit pause, do what I need them to, and come back.  When I decide to watch TV, I am not subject to Mr. TV’s whims as to what he thinks I want to watch.  Mr. DVR—you are saving my favorite programs for me—ready whenever I am.  You have the power, Mr. DVR, to make favorite shows wait until chores are done or until those who are too young for the content head to bed.  And your memory, Mr. DVR, truly helps this ADD-ridden family—as you remember when our favorite shows are on, and silently keep them for us.  And don’t even get me started on how, with you, I no longer need to watch commercials…

Bless you, Mr. DVR.  I {heart} you.

Beautiful Blogger Award

Who me?  Really?  Awww....shucks.  Thanks.

Dale at Pyretic Ponderings selected me as a recipient for a Beautiful Blogger Award.   Dale seems to love all things word-related (I use lots of words, that must be why she likes me--heehee) and her blog is an online journal of her daily life.  She recently raved about the new Alice in Wonderland movie and made me want to see it--read her review here.  She passes this on about the award:


As a recipient of the Beautiful Blogger Award, one should:

- Add a link and a note of thanks to the person giving the award
- Pass the award on to 15 bloggers whose blogs that you love
- Share 7 things about yourself 


Okay, I'll play!  I like awards!


Seven things about myself (I'll try to be a bit random here):


1.  I am often late.  Often.  Late.


2.  I grew up in New York--Long Island.   I blame my bad grammar and bad habit of interrupting others on my heritage.


3.  I live in Colorado and love the mountains and outdoors, but I hardly ever hike and I've never skiied.  Pathetic!


4.  I worked for seven years on Residence Life Staff at Wheaton College in IL--which means I lived in a Residence Hall with 500+ freshmen men and women that whole time.  I was married throughout--and had my first child while I worked there. I LOVED it!!


5.  I cook so we can eat, but I don't really love it.  or like it.  Well, eating, yes.  Cooking, no.


6.  One of my favorite scriptures is Genesis 50:20 from the end of Joseph's life.  I don't ever hear people say that is one of their favs.


7.  I don't like coffee or tea or hot chocolate or chai or mochacinnos or anything hip you can drink at a coffee shop.  How is a girl supposed to socialize when she doesn't like such things??


The blogs I choose to receive the Beautiful Blogger Award are all blogs I read regularly, but you may not know of yet--if you have not visited them, check them out!


Like a Day Off
Coming Clean: Confessions of an Imperfect Parent
Beyond Grace
Beauty instead of Ashes
Life at 7000 feet
Gitzen Girl
It's almost naptime!
Cathy's daily blog-o-rama
And I will praise you in this storm
Jumping Tandem
Mylestones
Graceful
The Other Mama
Imparting Grace
Zizzivivizz


Thanks, Dale for the honor of this lovely award.  Why anyone chooses to read and/or follow me is a mystery, but I am truly grateful for each one of you who click over to my little corner of bloggieland.

Unwrapping on Tuesday.

Tuesdays Unwrapped at Emily's Chatting at the Sky reminds us to see the little things we might overlook as gifts to be unwrapped and enjoyed.

I had my Tuesday moment on a Monday.  (is that cheating?)  Hubby had a board meeting tonight, so the kids and I had an early dinner on the way home from our afternoon.  When we arrived home at 5:30, the sun was threatening to sink below the mountains any minute, but it was still light out. Thank you daylight savings time, (even though I want my hour of sleep back)!  Pickle asked her brother if he wanted to play outside in the yard for a while. (muh huh?  Did I hear that right??)  It surprised me.  Even though they like each other most of the time, they do get on each other's nerves as all siblings do.  They usually choose to play with each other as a last resort. Yet, without any prodding from me, they happily ran outside.  I heard them laughing and quickly grabbed my camera to snap some shots.

Today, I am unwrapping this:

and this

(notice the awesome action shot--Pickle kicked off her shoe when she kicked the ball)

and this

Nothing to take for granted here.

Thankful on Monday.

It's Monday, and time for my thankful post--you know, the one where I list some of the 1000 gifts I'm committed to documenting.  Only I must confess that my pace is slowing down--I'm forgetting to document  as much lately.  I think it's cause I'm in a busy season...but isn't that the time it is most crucial?  When we are busy, the habit to intentionally slow down and notice and be grateful is most important.  Or else we'll miss it all.   So, I'm pressing on.  I hope you do too.

Here's a few from my list this week:

#206   My new office configuration.  I work at our church, and my "office" is really just a desk in the church office.  For the last three years it has been configured in such a way that it is very easy for me to see the whole office, and anybody who comes in can see me.  I'm friendly.  I'm chatty. There are lots of visitors.  You can do the math--my desk was distracto-land for me.  For a long while, I've wanted to switch the whole thing around, but it was fairly involved and had a domino affect on the rest of the office space.  But this week we went for it--and now I have my own little hole.  (I like to call it my "office").  I really like it--it helps me focus more.  And since this is a busy time of year...focus is good.

Here is the whole thing in process--boy I can cause a mess!

Here is it done...yes, we need to do a little somethin' with that green wall.  Can you tell I sit behind there?

From the inside of my hole--excuse the mess, I'm working hard!  Notice at the top of the picture the door to the whole office.  Notice the wall between me and the door.  This = good.

#207   Sudoku.  Really, it's on my list.  (Although, I do have a mental block and call it Soduko sometimes.)  Do you like these little puzzles?   I have a little book on my nightstand and when I'm awake and need to be asleep, I do a few.  I'm getting sleepy and fighting altzeimer's at the same time!  Who says multi-tasking doesn't work?

#222.   Heat.  I was awake in the middle of the night.  I snuggled under my warm covers and heard the furnace kick on.  I knew that meant heat was now pumping through our home.  I'm thankful for a warm home, and heat that comes on automatically to keep it that way.  The fact that I thought of that in the middle of the night makes me think this grateful habit is working...

As always, I'd love to know what you are grateful for...

better living through chemistry

Hello dear bloggies.

First things first,  it's March 12th, and I want to say happy birthday to my dear mother-in-law, Barb!  I couldn't ask for a more loving or generous or kind person to be my mother-in-law.  I love you Barb, and look forward to our visit next month!!

Some of you have followed my little saga of weaning off my meds, concerns that maybe I need to go back on them, indecision, poopy days, etc.  You have all been so supportive and prayerful on my behalf--it's humbling.  I appreciate the kind comments and sweet emails.  Some of you have been honest with me that you don't know what to do with the whole antidepressants-for-Christians thing--but have been supportive nonetheless.  Thank you.  Special thanks to the Company Girls, who I link up to on Fridays.

So, I am here to tell you today that I am back on the little happy pills. I saw my doctor on Tuesday and started back on Wednesday--building up to half the dose I have been on the past year.  And we'll see if that will do the trick.

Here's where I am with the whole thing...my rambling thoughts on the matter:

First of all, I believe wholeheartedly that some people's brain chemicals are such that medication is needed to help regulate the chemicals needed for proper functioning.  I have close loved ones in this category.  It has nothing to do with their faith, or copping out, or an unwillingness to push through a tough time.  And I am very grateful for the medication that helps them live life to the full.

Where I was struggling was whether or not I was one of those people.  I was surprised when my counsellor, who was helping us through a crisis in our lives, noticed I was depressed.  I am familiar enough with depression in others, I was surprised I hadn't noticed it in myself.  But she, and my doctor were of the opinion that my depression was circumstantial, and with proper treatment my brain would heal from it.  We thought 6 months to a year would do the trick.  At the six month mark, I was dealing with the recent death of my precious niece Sadie, and so doc and I decided to wait.  I had no doubt at the one year mark I would be fine.  I mean, I had some dark seasons before, and I never needed medication.

So somewhere around the one year mark--I started weaning off.  I think I finished my pills sometime in January.

It took a little while, but the cranky came.  The emotional overreaction to minor things.  The fragility.  Some trouble sleeping.    Stink--I knew these weren't good signs.  But I didn't want to run back to the doctor.  I wanted to give it some time...see how it went.  I wasn't in crisis.  I was functioning.  I prayed for wisdom.

I had lots of better days mixed in...but the consistent return of the poopy was evident.  Then an unexpected email (from a friend from the past who has been in the same place emotionally as me) felt sent from God--and I knew He was telling me it was OK.  I wasn't looking for a sign, but I knew it was one from Above.  I felt God was saying--stop gritting your teeth through your days, Dawn and talk to the doctor.  This was confirmed by my family as well (although I appreciate how they patiently let me come to my own conclusion).

Doc says that the medical research is still being done as to why, but the brain learns to make less brain chemicals sometimes.  I had told him of the seasons of depression I think I have had in the past.  At age 20.  Right after I got married. After the birth of my oldest.  And a few more.  I always got through it.  God rescued me from the darkness each time.  The doc told me that my personality type of gutting through stuff is the worst for this--because each time (somehow) my brain was learning a pattern of making less seratonin and other good stuff.  And it seems that the pattern seems too ingrained--I'm not bouncing back this time.

Do I think I would be OK without the meds?  Probably.  My dependence on God is real, and so is His provision.  I can function this way.  The way it feels to me is that as long as everything goes relatively well in my day--I'm fine.  But the emotional apple cart gets toppled way too easily, and it takes an incredible amount of energy to keep myself on track.  With the meds--I have enough of the good brain stuff to be able to handle the inevitable ups and downs of a day without having to exhaust myself trying to keep it together.  That leaves more emotional energy for my family, for my housework, for others God brings to my life, for the ministry He's called me to.

As my email friend mentioned to me--if I had a thyroid problem, I'd take the meds to regulate that.  Why not regulate my brain chemistry?  She's right.  I  don't know why there is a stigma with brain chemistry over any other body needs.  I didn't think I bought into the stigma--but when it came to my own needs, I bought into the idea that I shouldn't need this stuff.  (By the way, I am doing some reflection on "I should/shouldn't" but that's a post for another day).

You know what it is?  It's pride.  Honestly, I would rather not "need" something.  But, who am I kidding?  I need everyday.  I need Help.  Pride says I am independent, but I'm not.  I am very dependent--on God.  Without Him I am nothing.  He is my Rescuer.  If He rescues me this time through medication--I'll take it.

If any of you are still reading this verbal vomit, I thank you.   As I've said before, I'm nothing if not wordy.  :0)

Raise your coffee mug with me and toast to no more posts entitled poopy!

poopy.

Poopy morning today.  By 7 am it already was poopy.

Up too early.  Feeling the hint of a cold, or a headache, or something.  Tired. Tears before I got out of bed.

Feeling unappreciated, taken advantage of, blamed, like no matter how hard I try, I can't win...you know those days.  The way-too-self-focused days.  The poor-me days.  Someone tell me that you have them too?

When they hit so early in the day--I can't just coast until bedtime (although it is tempting to get back in bed and start over!) in a bad mood.  The day must be redeemed--cause it's a gift.

Here's what I'm gonna do:

*  put praise music on while I finish getting dressed.
*  take an advil sinus thingie.  with diet coke.  yes.
*  take my vitamins.
*  have a little something to eat.
*  snuggle up with my Bible for a while and let God talk to me.
*  put on my big girl panties and head into work...determined to be productive since there is much to cross off the list.
*  be gentle with myself, and not beat myself up for having a poopy day.  they happen.
*  be thankful.

Here's to redeeming the day!

This is the day the LORD has made;
       let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24


What do you do to redeem a day gone south??

signs of boy.

A boy lives here.

There's no doubt.  Evidence abounds.

This belongs to a boy.

(yes, it's on the floor)

So does this.

And these, left on the stairs.

And this award proudly displayed by a boy, for sure.

And this is perpetually worked on and shoved in the corner until time is found to work some more.

And this proud collection (of disney pins) is one of many collections he treasures.

And everything needs to be saved.

note here:  the orange car his sister made him--broken, but must be saved

his  school papers--save

and the darn happy meal toys--this one a plastic coffin???--save!

Sounds of boy are here too. Adventures in Odyssey and Tobymac blast from his bedroom.  Every move he makes has a soundtrack--motors, screeching brakes, pretend screams.  The doorbell is always ringing, cause playing outside is always best.  And the laughter.  Lots of laughter--especially at falling down and bodily noises.

Yup, a boy lives here.  With us.  (you see, one of our boys lives in heaven).  This one lives here.  It's messy, smelly and delightful.  Aren't I blessed to be a boy's mama?

sporting part of his veteran ensemble for dictionary day at school

Now, if I could only figure out how to keep him clean for more than five minutes...

Unwrapping this everyday, yet profound gift with Emily at Chatting at the Sky.

Thankful.

I continue my quest to document 1000 gifts.  Won't you join me?

181.  Sore muscles.  I'm choosing to be thankful for some sore muscles I have had this week--due to simple things like yoga and the wii fit.  (I know, Pathetic with a capital P!) Those achy muscles made life slightly uncomfortable for a few days, and they reminded me of how out of shape and old my body is--but they are evidence of a body that can move and stretch.  A body that can push itself (even when it doesn't have the slightest clue that these simple things were pushing it!).  I'm thankful I can move.

183.  Spring-like weather.  We have had it for a few days, and although not warm exactly--it felt great.  It came complete with open windows and birds singing (I love birds singing!!).

185.  A short visit with my mom.  She came by to drop off some dresses she had found super cheap for Pickle to try on...but she sat and visited with me for about an hour.  We caught up a bit.  It's a gift to have mom in town, but we don't get to hang out as much as everyone seems to think we do.  I work most days, and the days I don't I'm catching up around the house, or with errands.  She also watches my nephew four days a week...so she is doing the same on her days "off".  We go to the same church--so we see each other at church and church functions, sometimes lunch on Sundays.  She and my dad are great about coming to the kids' things.  We talk on the phone less than we see each other.  We do email (I know that sounds silly when  we live 10 minutes apart).  But email is not the same as grabbing a few minutes face to face.  So I am thankful for our impromptu one hour visit this week.

mom, dad, dave and pickle at bubba's b-ball game on Saturday

192.  Saturday breakfast dates with my hubby.  We recently started a weekly coffee or breakfast date on Saturday mornings.  We are in the season that we can leave the kids at home (if you aren't there yet, it WILL happen one day--hang in there!).  So we get up and get out, sometimes before they are both awake and enjoy some time together.  It's worked well to help us coordinate our weekend, to talk about practical important stuff, and to share whatever has been on our mind.  We are finding as we get older--the time after the kids go to bed is not so good for meaningful discussions.  We are too beat.  So this is working and it's fun!

195.  Seeds planted.  Sounds spiritual, huh?  Yeah, but this time I mean actual seeds.  Pickle and I used these little peat pellets to try to force some seeds early--we are growing our own annuals to plant out front come spring.  Our last frost in CO is late--I usually wait until late May to plant outdoors...so we brought a little spring in.  It will be fun to watch these little things sprout.  Somehow they represent hope and new life--even if outside gets snow a few more times this season.

What are you thankful for?  I'd love to hear!

it shouldn't count as exercise...

It's a lame excuse for exercise.  BUT, it's better than sitting on the couch.  And it's fun.  Its the Wii Fit.  When my family bought it for me for mother's day before it even came out...I was skeptical. Happy Mother's Day, mom--do yourself a favor and get fit!  But I quickly learned my skepticism was unwarranted.  The Wii Fit is fun!  I am not good at it, and I hardly ever have time to play on it.  However, when I do get the chance, or make a point to--I have fun and appreciate the immediate feedback.  Like someone knows I'm moving.  AND (most importantly) they can't see me do it!

Then at Christmas this year my family gave me the Wii Fit Plus and this super-cool board skin:

isn't it sassy?

Well, I am not here today to sell you on the Wii Fit and accessories.  Instead, I'm here today to confess something.  On Wednesday this week I fit in a little Fit-time.  I did some yoga, some strength and some kung-fu (hysterical), hula hooping, and rhythmic boxing.  Sounds like a lot, but not really hard at all.  Just fun.  However (here's my confession) on Thursday I was sore. SORE!  From the Wii Fit!  That's pathetic!

Ah, but the pathetic continues. Today is my day off, so I had time to get it back out.  I was having a great time...enjoying the activities I picked and lined up in a custom "workout".  But then I realized that for Island Cycling--I had unlocked two advanced courses without realizing it.  Island Cycling, you see, is just my speed.  You sort-of-march on the board and steer yourself around a pretty course and find flags.  You can't die.  You can smack head-on into a tree and there is no penalty.  Nothing shoots at you or is thrown at you.  You don't have to delicately balance.  It's easy.

here I am ready to go for a ride:  (like my mii?)

I clicked on the advanced course--and set out on my "ride".  And can I just say, right here in front of all of you, that this thing KICKED MY HINEY!  There were 22 flags to find, and I found 21 fairly easily, but found myself riding around and around and up and down and over bridges and through tunnels in pursuit of the last flag.  I started to acknowledge that I was getting a bit tired. (no...it's just the wii!)  My achilles hurt (you are barefoot when you do the Fit).  Where was the stinkin' flag?! ?  I finally found it in what I personally would call a secret tunnel...and then I had to find my way back to the finish line.  Only, there was no easy way back.  I'd head the direction I though I needed to go, and I would fall off a cliff and have to start back at the flag.  It took me FOR.EV.ER to figure out!  And what is normally a race that I think would take 5 minutes--took me 7.4 miles and 25 minutes!! Seriously??

So feeling a bit foolish, I called my Fit-out done for today.  I don't know yet if I will admit this to my kids.  Not sure I want their sympathetic looks...

I think I'll stick with what I know for the rest of today.  Blasting music and cleaning the house.  Running errands.  Pick the kids up at school.  And I think we'll keep my Wii-Fit-Fail between you and me, bloggies.  And I will have to think up a good story about any SORE that shows up tomorrow...I'll take suggestions.

Linking up with the Company Girls at Home Sanctuary for a little Friday hello and glimpse into my life today.  Girls, if you'd like to read something with you know, meaning, I submit to you my pickle-post.  Happy Friday, all!

Because my posts have been a little serious lately...

I thought it was time to lighten the mood a bit.  My bloggie-friend (which means we haven't met in real life but I'm sure if and when we do we will laugh our heads off!) Hillary over at The Other Mama (check out her blog--it's super cute!) is starting a new blog-carnival today--called Friday Favorites.  To join in, I'm supposed to post my favorite something.  Could be anything.

My hubby thought I should post about my favorite husband.  Good one, hon.

I thought and thought (for like FIVE whole minutes!)...and came up with my favorite....nothing.  Nothing!  Do I have no favorites???  Of course I do...think, brain-o-mine!  I decided I needed my nighttime treat to help me think clearer.  And then it came to me!  Literally.  In a mug.

I am going to post on...(the suspense is killing you isn't it?)... my favorite way to eat ice cream.  Seriously, I am.  It's all I got tonight, and I feel like being a little silly.  So here we go (drumroll, please).

Dawn's favorite way to eat ice cream:

1) in a mug.  (This was foreshadowed above--I'm fancy like that).  Any type of mug is fine, although I really like my minnie mouse mug if you had to press me on it.  I felt that was important to clarify in case you think I am completely apathetic about such important choices.

2)  propped up in our bed, with my comfy pjs on, and my heated mattress pad warming the sheets.  The ice cream chills me and I climb in the covers and it's all warm and toasty.  Ohyes.  The thermal joy of it all.

3)  scooped and brought to me by my hubby.  He has been the designated ice cream scooper throughout our marriage.  I can wield an ice cream scoop as well...but my dad always did it for us when I was a kid, and now hubby does.  It's pretty sweet, huh?

4) at the very end of the day.  The closer to sleepy-time the better, cause you know, it's healthy to slam sugar and fat right before you go comatose for seven hours.  And if we wanted to dream a bit, it's at the end of a day where I felt productive, and got everything done I meant to.  But since that has only been known to happen in reality three times, I choose to enjoy it on other days as well.

5)  watching something I love to watch on TV.  It could be So You Think You Can Dance,  American Idol, The Office (by the way, still recovering from Pam nursing the wrong baby tonight) or House.  We also love to eat ice cream while we watch The Biggest Loser--cause we love irony. And yeah, I know..eating in front of the TV...late at night...breaks all the rules.  Ohwell.

6)  with my man next to me.  Obviously.

7) with a surprise cookie on the bottom of the mug.  Hubby does this every now and then to surprise me and it's love in cookie form.  Or he's trying to fatten my up for some reason, which is one thing I don't need help with.

So there you have it.  My favorite way to eat ice cream.  If you think I sound like a sweet-toothed sloth--yeah, I resemble that remark. At least at 10 pm I do.

After this nightly ritual, I thought it only appropriate to also let you know my favorite workout video.  Consider it a bonus.

You're welcome.

Oh, and in case you are looking for something with a little more substance...follow Kristen as she writes from her Compassion Blogger trip to Kenya.  I'm loving it.