Thursday, October 14, 2010

do we dare hope?


Do we dare to hope?

This is what has been going through my head this morning since my hubby said these words to me, "You know, I think the pains shots might be working...".

If you've read theGoodlife much, you know that hubby has been dealing with frustrating and often debilitating back pain for over a year.  We've tried different doctors, different meds, different procedures to no avail.  We've been excited by potential solutions, only to have them disappoint.

And you see, pain is not just physical pain.  It drains.  It is depressing.  All four of us have found ourselves more than frustrated, more than once. It eats at our family life, at our ability to enjoy things together.  It eats at relationships, cause the energy goes to surviving.  It steals moments we thought were a given.

Last week, hubby had yet another procedure.  Pain shots into a different area--the joints between ribs and vertebrae.  (Did you know those were joints?  Me either.)  He spent a miserable week off of ibuprofen in preparation.  He spent the five days after the procedure in worse pain than before.  Stink.  Another procedure that didn't seem to be helping.  Doc said it could still be normal for it not to be working yet.  Don't give up hope yet.  OK.

And then Tuesday it wasn't terrible.  And then yesterday was pretty good.  And then his words this morning...

"Thank you God" was my verbal response.

The response in my heart was different.  It was guarded.  Protecting itself from more disappointment.  Do I dare hope we've found the answer or at least part of the answer?  Or do I steal myself for what might come in a day or a week?

I understand why I feel this way.  I bet you do too.  I bet you've been there in one circumstance or another...wondering if you dare to hope?  It feels like a normal response, but I'm not sure if it's the right one.

I know the Author of Hope.  Shouldn't I be able to hope freely at the words I've longed to hear?  At the slight smile on hubby's face?

I am not going to wrap up this post with an answer to those questions.  I want to hear what you have to say...and I'll keep thinking on it myself.

(by the way, didn't plan to blog again so soon after closing my laptop, but I felt free to blurt this out this morning...)

8 comments:

Chris said...

The Lord gave me Romans 15:13 for my verse for this year way back in January. "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." I pray this for you, your dear hubby and for all those we love who need the power of God to hope even when we don't understand the "whys" of the circumstances that invade our lives. Keep hoping, keep believing, keep trusting that He will, and is, bringing big G good from it all. So good to see hubby smiling while moving around last night!! Rejoicing in today's comfort while hoping for it to last for a real LOOOONNNNGGGG time!!

Karen said...

Dawn, yes hope. Hope in the good moments, the bad moments and inbetween moments. PTL that hubbie feels better right now. Will continue to pray and hope.

Dayle said...

As long as your hope is in the Lord, there's no reason not to hope. I have found that when we put our hope in things and in people, we will be disappointed, but it's always a good thing to hope in God. Here's hoping with you.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Pain has caused me to "tentatively" hope...if that even makes sense. I want to be whole-hearted in my hope. I really do. If I'm honest, I know that I'm only a half-hearted hoper.

My sweet friend, Jan, wrote a book called The Allure of Hope. I think I loaned my copy out to someone but I'll see if I can remember who has it or see if I can find it. It's a good book...

Lea said...

Dawn, I haven't been a follower of yours too long and didn't really know about the length of time that your husband had been dealing with this back pain. That is AWFUL! He has my deepest sympathy. Two years ago I was dealing with debilitating back pain myself. I went to Dr. after Dr., had acupunture done went to PT and then my Dr. cousin told me I needed to see a Chiropractor immediately. I was so desperate that I would have done anything and felt I had nothing to loose. I went the first of Jan. 2009 and by April I began to feel results and by Aug. I felt "good as new." It's was unbelievable! He gave me stretching exercises as well and I got an inversion table. I continue to go for maintanence but I have done so well. I don't know if your husband has tried Chiropractic care but it might be an option for him. Yes, pain wears you down after a while and I pray he will find relief very soon.

Blessings abundant to you!

Carly said...

hoping too...
:)

Dayle said...

You are missed.

Jen said...

This is such a good post -- honest and real. I think for me, I hope in the fact that I know God knows what He is doing, even when I don't. I think He never wants us to lose hope in His love and His power. Sometimes, though, I just have to endure for just a little bit longer with whatever I'm struggling through at the moment. I'm praying that your husband's struggle is finally over.

Related Posts with Thumbnails