There was a time in our lives where I was so aware of how desperate I was for God's help to make it through every moment. Hubby was in a very dark time and unavailable to me emotionally, physically, spiritually. I had an infant and a five year old. I was still grieving the loss of our four month old a year and a half prior. I was lonely and scared and very, very tired in every way.
It was during that time that I learned the practice of falling on my knees at the side of my bed each and every morning--before I even attended to my kids. My head was down, my hands open to receive.
I prayed my everyday prayer. I confessed my sin. I emptied myself of any agenda I had for the day. I asked God to fill me with His Holy Spirit. I pictured Him filling me to the tips of my fingers and the bottom of my feet--and especially filling my mouth. I asked Him to allow me to exhibit the fruit of His Spirit indwelling me (not an easy task for the Holy Spirit in my pitiful state). I asked for His strength to show kindness and gentleness and patience to my kids. For joy as I changed diapers. I asked for His love to flow through me to my husband who had nothing to love me back with. I asked for His encouragement and guidance for the day, for the morning, for the next few minutes. He refreshed me in that quick everyday prayer. And by His strength alone, I got up and was mommy and wife and daughter and friend. In many ways that time was a blur...but I survived. And as far as I remember, I don't think I killed anyone.
Most importantly, I learned in a new way that His grace is sufficient for me.
Over the years my everyday prayer has changed a bit. I still confess and empty myself. I still ask for the Holy Spirit to fill me, and that I could exhibit His fruit. What has changed is that instead of praying for strength to make it through each moment, I pray for sensitivity to hear His leading. That He would control each part of my day--who I run into, conversations, what I accomplish or don't. That He would allow me to complete His agenda for me that day. I want to "keep in step with the Spirit".
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galations 5:25
I realized recently that I've gotten away from my everyday prayer. My mornings look different as we hit the ground running. I don't feel as desperate everyday. (I am, just not always as aware of it--yikes). And so, what do I accomplish during the day if I'm not careful? MY agenda. Seeking to fill my needs, my priorities--with my family, and even in ministry.
I do pray in the morning and throughout the day. I talk a lot, and I talk to God a lot. But I'm missing my everyday prayer.
Today I'm celebrating that each day is a new day, and that I can start again. I can pray the prayer of everyday. Have your way, Lord.
Unwrapping the small and sacred gifts of the everyday with Emily at Chatting at the Sky. Click here to read what other gifts are being unwrapped today.