Friday, February 26, 2010

Loving Anyway

Each Friday I connect up with the Company Girls to 'chat" about our weeks.  It's a fun little online community that has connected me with wonderful people.

But every Friday seems the same to me as I go to write.  I mention about how it's my day off (which is always a good thing!).  How I hope to catch up on stuff.  Whatever weekend plans I have.

Lately I've had weeks of posts on Pickle's health or my own emotional poopyness.  I'm kinda getting bored with myself!

Yet, many of you are praying, so I feel an update is in order. Here goes:  I'm still really unsure about myself emotionally, but I'm getting tired of talking/writing about it.  This week was slightly better than last, but I may still end up calling the doctor.  I don't trust my emotions right now to be accurate indicators of a situation.  I've asked others this week if it's normal to be upset about this or that. I did have some bright spots I posted about last weekend.  And I've been leaning hard on God and embracing my need for Him.  He has reassured me from His Word over and over, and for this I am truly grateful.  I feel a little out of control, but I feel safe.

So, on to something else today...please!  This morning I read a little article from a Focus on the Family newsletter about not just loving because (fill in the blank) but about loving anyway.  It made me think of my wonderful man, and our relationship.  I think that we have a beautiful relationship--because it truly is about loving anyway.  Don't get me wrong, there are lots of reasons to love because....LOTS.  But, we've had our things.  Both the big things that have rocked our world, and the little day-to-day things that sometimes are hardest to deal with.

at a dear friend's wedding rehearsal 12/08

Frankly, this hasn't been the best week of our marriage.  It has been far (FAR!) from the worst...but not a banner week.  My emotional ups and downs, his work-stress and back pain, and busyness have not helped.  We've been missing each other, misunderstanding each other, and not always having the energy or motivation to even talk it out.  When our mutual frustrations were finally expressed, it wasn't in a calm, fair manner....but in a late night, about to fall asleep, burst of emotion.

However, the strong undercurrent is still love.  Acceptance.  Of each other.  Of each other's stuff.  We are long past the self-righteous assumptions of I'm doing everything right and you're the one to blame.  (although we still go there at times, I admit).  We are well-acquainted with each other's shortfalls, and our own.  We each know we bring some, shall we say, "craft" to the table.

Hawaii 2009

I'm so glad we embrace often.  Even when we are too wiped to talk.  In the embrace comes the reassurance of love in spite of what we are dealing with at the moment.  Real love.  Love anyway.

We never finished our late night emotional burst conversation.  We didn't need to.  We've been here before, we get it.  We awoke with the unstated realization that the things that were bothering us were just symptoms of the week we had been having and our neglect to counteract them proactively.  Yes, we both need to pay better attention to us when we are struggling--and we didn't get an A+ this week on that.  But we love deeply.  We love anyway.

That's how God loves us--anyway.  We don't deserve His love, in spite of our efforts to try and have Him love us because.  He is well aware of our stuff--the stuff we have no choice about, and the stuff we choose.  He loves us anyway.

It is His love that enables us to love each other anyway.  I'm so thankful.

12 comments:

Beth said...

Good post. Love anyway. I know you know, but you and Hubby inspire me and Husband... because you're real. It's not that we think you're perfect, but you're committed to loving anyway and living life together, and we're inspired.

Ashley said...

Hugs/embraces seem to say the things we often can't vocalize. Way to stick it out through the tough times!

Karen said...

I like that, "love anyway," sounds like a good book title. Blessings**

Aiming4Simple said...

"Love anyway" is exactly the message I needed to hear after this roller coaster of a week. Thanks for speaking these truths.

Dayle said...

I loved this, Dawn. Loving "anyway" is not easy, but it brings rich rewards.

Lea said...

Dawn, What a wonderful post! This was first stop by your blog and it was so inspiring and so truthful and applicable to all of us. Thanks for sharing your heart and I'll definitely be back for a visit. Blessings to you!

the.bain.family. said...

great post. Loving anyway becomes so important the more time that passes. New love is easy. New love is "I love because". It takes commitment and true love to love anyway.

Anonymous said...

Daaaaaaaaaaaawn! I will find you no matter what occurs...Sorry I'm being a bit melodramatic. BUT I have tried now for the 5th time to comment on your blog. I'm determined I'm going to make my comments!
I love your posts! I appreciate your transparency. Life is tough and we do have a choice to make. Thanks for just keeping it real.
I also want you to know I'm praying for you. I know the Lord knows the why behind all you are going through. He is able!
And finally for the 5th time...I love the pictures of you and your husband! You two are just a good looking couple. Thanks for sharing!
Blessings,
LydiaCate

joyceandnorm said...

Thanks for sharing that with us. It's hard sometime because we don't people to think of us like that, but it's true and it's real. I'm feeling a lot like that these days because it's just busy busy busy and I feel like we don't have time for the kids or time for each other or time for our home and especially time for the Lord. I'm sure so many of us have at times felt the same emotions that you have and gone through similar situations as you and your hubby. Relationships are hard work but we work at it, and love anyway. Thanks for sharing that with us. Hope it will be a smoother week.

dawn said...

LydiaCate-thanks for your persistence!! Thanks for your complements on our pictures...

Thanks to everyone for your kind comments...it's always a risk to put reality out there...you guys are great encouragers.

Dawn said...

this reminds me that when eric & i were meeting with my pastor before we got married he talked about loving in spite of... sometimes i do need to be reminded. and i hope life is looking up for you this week... i am thankful we have a Savior to lean on :)

Rodney said...

Love, the main thing Jesus asked to do. Love Him and our Neighbors some days thats just harder to do than others! :D i am glad His strength is endless and limitless!

Anyways, my wifes name is Annette (pastors wife)and she just opened her blog to public setting as she wants to be an encouragement and blessing to people. I was trying to be an encouragement to her by asking if you would be willing to swing by and say hi as she does not know many people in the blog world? Thank you for considering. Her blog is

http://continuedwonder.blogspot.com/

Thank You,
Rodney(Annette's husband)

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